Reward offered for lost Muse.

I've been out of the loop this past week. I haven't been able to keep up with my commitment to writing. I don't even know what's going on in the world. I pretty much eat, sleep and work. Oh yeah, and video games. I can't forget video games. Oh wait... and trash T.V. I recently got into Ma's Roadhouse on top of all the other shows I've been keeping up with. I have a crap load of stuff on DVR that I still have to watch. I love DVR. At least I can watch them at my own convenience.

I started a new job at Sear's last week. I really like it, but being out of work for nine months has made me soft-not to mention working with two fractured toes. I went to the Doctor today for another X-Ray. Looks like I'm still wearing my medical boot for another month. I don't really mind, but it's a pain to work in it. It really makes my foot hurt. There are other things going on, but these are the things I am using as an excuse for not keeping up with my blog or any other writing. *sigh*

This morning on my drive to the bone and joint clinic I started thinking about writing and this new job and everything. I was thinking about how much I like this job and how I would like to find promotion within the company. I even considered making it my career! I had to stop myself. It's like I had totally forgotten my dream to become a writer! I started telling myself that maybe writing wasn't going to work for me. I thought about my lack of commitment to writing, but realized I am not ready to give up on my dream. Sear's has been a Godsend, but it's not what I want to do with my life. I realize this job is from God, but I don't believe this is where I should I am meant to stay. I'm still on a journey and I'm just a-passing through. Sear's is definitely a blessing in the middle of the hard financial times I'm facing. I may still seek promotion within the company while I wait, but I can't let it make me loose focus of the dream I've had since I was a child.

As I sat down today and re-watched last nights episode of Glee I found myself inspired and dreaming again, especially the song they sang about New York. (One day I hope to make it there.) I was reminded of a quote that says something like, 'You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go out and find it.' Okay, so I'm probably quoted it all wrong, but that's all I can remember. (I can't even remember who said it.) Well today inspiration came and found me, thank God! But it's not always going to do that. I have to be willing to go out and find it. It has to become habitual. I've wasted so much of my life having no focus and no drive. I am beginning to see how all the bad things that have happened in my thirty-three years on this Earth have been training for me. I see how God wants to use all the negative things I've had to face and overcome to train me for my future. I've gotten through everything thrown at me. God has always been faithful to lead me and teach me in every situation. It doesn't always work out how I'd like, but I can usually see the good that comes from it.

Yesterday at work I realized that if I had no adversity and nothing to overcome in life I would just end up in a state of apathy and never have any forward momentum. I even find myself looking for resistance when I feel like there is none and I'm growing complacent. I wish I was naturally driven to succeed, but I'm not. I need adversity and God knows this. He's always known even when I didn't. It makes me thankful for all the hard times I've had to go through to get where I am today. God knows I wasn't thankful at the time. God is turning me into a fighter, someone who will fight for what's right and the dreams God placed in a child's heart.

Anyway, with all that said and done I'm renewing my commitment to God, writing and myself. I am determined to find a way to live this thing we call life and live it to the fullest! I want to accomplish all the things I've always wanted to do, but have been too afraid to do! I never want to stop dreaming. Hopefully my journey will inspire others to reach new heights. To finish I'd like to share a quote I wrote while watching Glee.

"Never give up on your dreams, even if you feel like you've strayed too far from the path. There is always a way back to the road if you look hard enough and are willing to make the journey."