I've been out of the loop this past week. I haven't been able to keep up with my commitment to writing. I don't even know what's going on in the world. I pretty much eat, sleep and work. Oh yeah, and video games. I can't forget video games. Oh wait... and trash T.V. I recently got into Ma's Roadhouse on top of all the other shows I've been keeping up with. I have a crap load of stuff on DVR that I still have to watch. I love DVR. At least I can watch them at my own convenience.
I started a new job at Sear's last week. I really like it, but being out of work for nine months has made me soft-not to mention working with two fractured toes. I went to the Doctor today for another X-Ray. Looks like I'm still wearing my medical boot for another month. I don't really mind, but it's a pain to work in it. It really makes my foot hurt. There are other things going on, but these are the things I am using as an excuse for not keeping up with my blog or any other writing. *sigh*
This morning on my drive to the bone and joint clinic I started thinking about writing and this new job and everything. I was thinking about how much I like this job and how I would like to find promotion within the company. I even considered making it my career! I had to stop myself. It's like I had totally forgotten my dream to become a writer! I started telling myself that maybe writing wasn't going to work for me. I thought about my lack of commitment to writing, but realized I am not ready to give up on my dream. Sear's has been a Godsend, but it's not what I want to do with my life. I realize this job is from God, but I don't believe this is where I should I am meant to stay. I'm still on a journey and I'm just a-passing through. Sear's is definitely a blessing in the middle of the hard financial times I'm facing. I may still seek promotion within the company while I wait, but I can't let it make me loose focus of the dream I've had since I was a child.
As I sat down today and re-watched last nights episode of Glee I found myself inspired and dreaming again, especially the song they sang about New York. (One day I hope to make it there.) I was reminded of a quote that says something like, 'You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go out and find it.' Okay, so I'm probably quoted it all wrong, but that's all I can remember. (I can't even remember who said it.) Well today inspiration came and found me, thank God! But it's not always going to do that. I have to be willing to go out and find it. It has to become habitual. I've wasted so much of my life having no focus and no drive. I am beginning to see how all the bad things that have happened in my thirty-three years on this Earth have been training for me. I see how God wants to use all the negative things I've had to face and overcome to train me for my future. I've gotten through everything thrown at me. God has always been faithful to lead me and teach me in every situation. It doesn't always work out how I'd like, but I can usually see the good that comes from it.
Yesterday at work I realized that if I had no adversity and nothing to overcome in life I would just end up in a state of apathy and never have any forward momentum. I even find myself looking for resistance when I feel like there is none and I'm growing complacent. I wish I was naturally driven to succeed, but I'm not. I need adversity and God knows this. He's always known even when I didn't. It makes me thankful for all the hard times I've had to go through to get where I am today. God knows I wasn't thankful at the time. God is turning me into a fighter, someone who will fight for what's right and the dreams God placed in a child's heart.
Anyway, with all that said and done I'm renewing my commitment to God, writing and myself. I am determined to find a way to live this thing we call life and live it to the fullest! I want to accomplish all the things I've always wanted to do, but have been too afraid to do! I never want to stop dreaming. Hopefully my journey will inspire others to reach new heights. To finish I'd like to share a quote I wrote while watching Glee.
"Never give up on your dreams, even if you feel like you've strayed too far from the path. There is always a way back to the road if you look hard enough and are willing to make the journey."
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
History Repeats itself...
"They that start by burning books will end by burning men."
--Heinrich Heine (1797-1856), from his play Almansor (1821)
I heard this quote from the history channel who referred to the author as a prophetic playwright. Many years later this man's works would be added to the many other renowned authors that the Nazi's would burn and destroy. It really got me to thinking about about the church in Florida and their burning of the Quran this September 11th, 2010.
Now keep in mind I am not an extremely educated man. I graduated from high school and even took a couple of online writing courses, but never had a desire to go to college. I am not the most eloquent writer or the best at anything really. I always feel like I'm struggling just to keep up. But deep down since I was a youth living in the farmlands of Tennessee I have always had a feeling of tolerance. I'm not really sure where it came from exactly. I certainly was not around tolerant people growing up. Part of me believes that God put it in me from a young age. I have always had a deep desire to stand up for the rights of others regardless of their faults or flaws. I could never stand seeing people picked on or hurt maliciously for any reason.
God showed me in my high school years that I had no reason to judge another human being. I was imperfect and had no right to pass judgments against others nor harbor prejudices in my heart. That doesn't mean I haven't done so in my life, especially as I have gotten older. The world can be a pretty nasty place at times and it's easy to blame other people for all the problems of the world. Honestly, I haven't really kept up with anything outside of my own little world for many years now. Ignorance is bliss right? At times it truly can be. But my self-inflicted isolation is slowly melting away as I sense a growing urgency to be a conduit for change. I'm beginning to see the world for what it is and I want to be a vessel for good in this world.
With that said I want to address the actions to be performed this Saturday by the church in Florida, the burning of the Quran. Really? This is what Christians have resorted to? Don't get me wrong. I understand that people were lost tragically and families and friends were hurt on September 11th, 2001. I do not deny the pain and heartache that others have felt at the hands of violent individuals. We should always honor the memories of those lost by such horrible crimes. But really, what would the saints who have gone before think of this act committed in the name of Jesus Christ? Just because you tag the Lord's name to an action does not mean that he endorses it. What about the actions of the KKK? They sought the backing of the protestant church and got it! The KKK persecuted blacks, jews, catholics and any other immigrants because they felt they threatened their white supremacy. It's so funny that they tried to back up their harmful actions with public displays of good deeds. Is it just me or isn't that very similar to what the Pharisees did in the days of Jesus? And what did Jesus do to those Pharisees? He rebuked them and their teachings!
According to my Bible God has always been more concerned with the heart of man than the rules that they follow. Jesus' death was a sacrifice to reconcile man with God. God knew that man could never be good enough on his own to achieve his own righteousness so Jesus died so that those who believe in him could become the righteousness of God. I'm definitely not a biblical scholar nor do I read my bible as much as I would like, but that doesn't mean I've never had any instruction in the word of God or that I've never done my own personal study. You can't fight hate with hate, it doesn't work.
God told us how to fight evil. He told us to overcome evil with good. He told us that we are to turn the other cheek. When Peter asked Jesus how many times are we to forgive our brother who has sinned against us Jesus made it quite clear we are to never stop forgiving the sins of others against us. I know it's cliché and easy to use these verses when nothing terrible has happened to us. But we have all had our earthen brothers sin against us in one way or another. God never fave us excuse to hold a grudge against anyone. That doesn't mean that we can't be angry or hurt by the actions of others. Of course we will be it's a part of life, but we are not to let the sun go down on our wrath. We have to let stuff go! I've heard so many stories of persecuted Christians around the world who have forgiven their captors, jailers, executioners and those who have killed their families. It can be done. It is not impossible. We only have to be willing. We are all in control of our own actions and whether or not we hold a grudge against another person. Aren't we all called to be tolerant of and to love others or was Jesus just kidding when he said, “Blessed (enjoying enviable happiness, spiritually prosperous- with life-joy and satisfaction in God's favor and salvation, regardless of their outward conditions) are the makers and maintainers of peace, for they shall be called the son's of God (Matthew 5:9, Amplified Bible).?”
The nation of Islam is a people that God placed on this Earth for a purpose. He loves them as much as he loves the white folk, the Native Americans who were in this country before them. And whom our ancestors very nearly completely destroyed. The African Americans who the white folk used and sold as slaves. The Jewish people whom the bible refers to as God's chosen people who have been persecuted for as long as anyone can remember. And so on and so on. All men are created equal and in God's eyes there is no difference in Gentile or Jew or man or woman. Have we Christians really so lost our way and the teachings of Jesus that we would persecute our brothers with whom we must share this Earth? Are there not sects of Christians who give Christians a bad name? It is only natural there would be sects of Muslims who give all Muslims bad names. Let's not pass that judgment when God has not given us the authority to do so. There is only one Judge and that is God. Nearly everyone on God's green Earth has been persecuted against for being who they are or what they believe, Christians are not excluded. But even Christian persecution was never a valid excuse for any kind of revenge.
“...Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous (Matthew 5:44-46, NIV).”
Let's stop telling our children that it's okay to hate and then tagging Jesus' name onto it; otherwise we may see another dark era of persecution and attempted genocide as history does what it does best, repeat itself.
--Heinrich Heine (1797-1856), from his play Almansor (1821)
I heard this quote from the history channel who referred to the author as a prophetic playwright. Many years later this man's works would be added to the many other renowned authors that the Nazi's would burn and destroy. It really got me to thinking about about the church in Florida and their burning of the Quran this September 11th, 2010.
Now keep in mind I am not an extremely educated man. I graduated from high school and even took a couple of online writing courses, but never had a desire to go to college. I am not the most eloquent writer or the best at anything really. I always feel like I'm struggling just to keep up. But deep down since I was a youth living in the farmlands of Tennessee I have always had a feeling of tolerance. I'm not really sure where it came from exactly. I certainly was not around tolerant people growing up. Part of me believes that God put it in me from a young age. I have always had a deep desire to stand up for the rights of others regardless of their faults or flaws. I could never stand seeing people picked on or hurt maliciously for any reason.
God showed me in my high school years that I had no reason to judge another human being. I was imperfect and had no right to pass judgments against others nor harbor prejudices in my heart. That doesn't mean I haven't done so in my life, especially as I have gotten older. The world can be a pretty nasty place at times and it's easy to blame other people for all the problems of the world. Honestly, I haven't really kept up with anything outside of my own little world for many years now. Ignorance is bliss right? At times it truly can be. But my self-inflicted isolation is slowly melting away as I sense a growing urgency to be a conduit for change. I'm beginning to see the world for what it is and I want to be a vessel for good in this world.
With that said I want to address the actions to be performed this Saturday by the church in Florida, the burning of the Quran. Really? This is what Christians have resorted to? Don't get me wrong. I understand that people were lost tragically and families and friends were hurt on September 11th, 2001. I do not deny the pain and heartache that others have felt at the hands of violent individuals. We should always honor the memories of those lost by such horrible crimes. But really, what would the saints who have gone before think of this act committed in the name of Jesus Christ? Just because you tag the Lord's name to an action does not mean that he endorses it. What about the actions of the KKK? They sought the backing of the protestant church and got it! The KKK persecuted blacks, jews, catholics and any other immigrants because they felt they threatened their white supremacy. It's so funny that they tried to back up their harmful actions with public displays of good deeds. Is it just me or isn't that very similar to what the Pharisees did in the days of Jesus? And what did Jesus do to those Pharisees? He rebuked them and their teachings!
According to my Bible God has always been more concerned with the heart of man than the rules that they follow. Jesus' death was a sacrifice to reconcile man with God. God knew that man could never be good enough on his own to achieve his own righteousness so Jesus died so that those who believe in him could become the righteousness of God. I'm definitely not a biblical scholar nor do I read my bible as much as I would like, but that doesn't mean I've never had any instruction in the word of God or that I've never done my own personal study. You can't fight hate with hate, it doesn't work.
God told us how to fight evil. He told us to overcome evil with good. He told us that we are to turn the other cheek. When Peter asked Jesus how many times are we to forgive our brother who has sinned against us Jesus made it quite clear we are to never stop forgiving the sins of others against us. I know it's cliché and easy to use these verses when nothing terrible has happened to us. But we have all had our earthen brothers sin against us in one way or another. God never fave us excuse to hold a grudge against anyone. That doesn't mean that we can't be angry or hurt by the actions of others. Of course we will be it's a part of life, but we are not to let the sun go down on our wrath. We have to let stuff go! I've heard so many stories of persecuted Christians around the world who have forgiven their captors, jailers, executioners and those who have killed their families. It can be done. It is not impossible. We only have to be willing. We are all in control of our own actions and whether or not we hold a grudge against another person. Aren't we all called to be tolerant of and to love others or was Jesus just kidding when he said, “Blessed (enjoying enviable happiness, spiritually prosperous- with life-joy and satisfaction in God's favor and salvation, regardless of their outward conditions) are the makers and maintainers of peace, for they shall be called the son's of God (Matthew 5:9, Amplified Bible).?”
The nation of Islam is a people that God placed on this Earth for a purpose. He loves them as much as he loves the white folk, the Native Americans who were in this country before them. And whom our ancestors very nearly completely destroyed. The African Americans who the white folk used and sold as slaves. The Jewish people whom the bible refers to as God's chosen people who have been persecuted for as long as anyone can remember. And so on and so on. All men are created equal and in God's eyes there is no difference in Gentile or Jew or man or woman. Have we Christians really so lost our way and the teachings of Jesus that we would persecute our brothers with whom we must share this Earth? Are there not sects of Christians who give Christians a bad name? It is only natural there would be sects of Muslims who give all Muslims bad names. Let's not pass that judgment when God has not given us the authority to do so. There is only one Judge and that is God. Nearly everyone on God's green Earth has been persecuted against for being who they are or what they believe, Christians are not excluded. But even Christian persecution was never a valid excuse for any kind of revenge.
“...Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous (Matthew 5:44-46, NIV).”
Let's stop telling our children that it's okay to hate and then tagging Jesus' name onto it; otherwise we may see another dark era of persecution and attempted genocide as history does what it does best, repeat itself.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
The beginnings of frustration...
I hate technology. I feel like the 21st century has left me behind. Im thirty-three years old and when it comes to figuring out everyday life in this computer age I feel like a six year old. Up to this point I've pretty much ignored all the things I did not want to deal with because I never felt like I've been able to keep up. Everything has become so complicated. It doesn't help that my life has taken a few steps back since the beginning of this year. Even now I find myself on dial-up again. It makes everything so frustrating. Even finding a job has become nothing but a never ending aggravation. Everything is online now. No one wants to see a person anymore. They want everything at their own convenience. And since when do you need a resume to apply for a job at a grocery store?!
I feel like I'm not cut out for the present so I'm definitely not prepared for the future. I have also been doing research regarding becoming a freelance writer. This is the only thing I've ever cared anything about doing. I have always wanted to be a novelist, but it seems that no one wants anything to do with an unpublished noob. I never had any desire to write articles or anything like that. I just never cared for it. Everyone keeps saying that you should get published on websites and in magazines and newspapers. Now it seems I have very little choice but to conform to society to follow my dream. I've never been very good at conforming to anything, but if I want to have any kind of future it seems I have no choice.
Now that I've properly vented I would like to discuss my plans for the blog. I originally wanted to use it as an online journal, but that didn't work out for me. I then changed things up and was only going to use it to post poetry and deep thoughts. I never really planned on using it as an actual blog. Well all that is changing. I'm going to give blogging a try. I suppose my blog could best be summed up by my new tag line. It's going to follow my endeavors to conform to a digital age I am not really comfortable in to see my dream of becoming a wtiter come true. I still plan on posting some poems and other bits as well. So this is me making an attempt at a semi-professional blog. We'll see what happens. Maybe I'm not as stubborn as I think I am. Oh wait, yes I am. Here's me trying with a smile.
I feel like I'm not cut out for the present so I'm definitely not prepared for the future. I have also been doing research regarding becoming a freelance writer. This is the only thing I've ever cared anything about doing. I have always wanted to be a novelist, but it seems that no one wants anything to do with an unpublished noob. I never had any desire to write articles or anything like that. I just never cared for it. Everyone keeps saying that you should get published on websites and in magazines and newspapers. Now it seems I have very little choice but to conform to society to follow my dream. I've never been very good at conforming to anything, but if I want to have any kind of future it seems I have no choice.
Now that I've properly vented I would like to discuss my plans for the blog. I originally wanted to use it as an online journal, but that didn't work out for me. I then changed things up and was only going to use it to post poetry and deep thoughts. I never really planned on using it as an actual blog. Well all that is changing. I'm going to give blogging a try. I suppose my blog could best be summed up by my new tag line. It's going to follow my endeavors to conform to a digital age I am not really comfortable in to see my dream of becoming a wtiter come true. I still plan on posting some poems and other bits as well. So this is me making an attempt at a semi-professional blog. We'll see what happens. Maybe I'm not as stubborn as I think I am. Oh wait, yes I am. Here's me trying with a smile.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Remnants of Loss
Remnants of Loss
by John A. Pewitt
Remnants of loss remain.
The troubled summer marking another year since your passing.
The harsh, bitter heat burning down into the soul, re-igniting painful memories of loss and heartache.
The cool breeze of autumn riding in on summer's coat tails, chasing away the blistering heat and the ache within the soul.
Bringing with it a sense of peace and renewal to the unsettled spirit.
Life continues on, pulling us along willingly or unwillingly.
Uncontrollable, it will not be denied.
Time heeds no master and answers to none.
Of it's own accord, truly, time heals wounds.
by John A. Pewitt
Remnants of loss remain.
The troubled summer marking another year since your passing.
The harsh, bitter heat burning down into the soul, re-igniting painful memories of loss and heartache.
The cool breeze of autumn riding in on summer's coat tails, chasing away the blistering heat and the ache within the soul.
Bringing with it a sense of peace and renewal to the unsettled spirit.
Life continues on, pulling us along willingly or unwillingly.
Uncontrollable, it will not be denied.
Time heeds no master and answers to none.
Of it's own accord, truly, time heals wounds.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Unfixable
by John A. Pewitt
An innocent child you can love,
but in a growing child you only find fault.
You use the world love, but the child sees only judgment.
You can take no delight in the child, it is broken.
The child grows, afraid to be,
locking away the soul in a prison of silence.
Always holding the key, but too afraid to use it.
Unwilling to accept, what you showed such disdain.
Spending life looking for escape from body and mind.
Always wishing, always dreaming of being someone else.
Never watching the road ahead, but always looking back hoping the truth will never catch up.
Feeling unloved and unloveable,
always pushing away, never embracing life and love.
Never letting anyone inside, lest they see,
the small child locked away so long ago.
An innocent child you can love,
but in a growing child you only find fault.
You use the world love, but the child sees only judgment.
You can take no delight in the child, it is broken.
The child grows, afraid to be,
locking away the soul in a prison of silence.
Always holding the key, but too afraid to use it.
Unwilling to accept, what you showed such disdain.
Spending life looking for escape from body and mind.
Always wishing, always dreaming of being someone else.
Never watching the road ahead, but always looking back hoping the truth will never catch up.
Feeling unloved and unloveable,
always pushing away, never embracing life and love.
Never letting anyone inside, lest they see,
the small child locked away so long ago.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Dysfunction. God help us, sometimes those labeled dysfunctional funcion better than the rest of us. -author unkown
I'm sure someone knows the author-but not I. This was the writing assignment from the New Voices writer's group I have the privilege to meet with on the 3rd Saturday of the month. The assignment was handed out month ago, in January. Me being the uber-procrastinator I am; I finished it March 19, 2010. Pinkerton Park was lovely that day. Anyway here are the random deep introspective and philosophical thoughts I was having to finish the assignment.
"Some things are mislabeled. We like our little boxes, where everything fits nice and neat and has its place. We slap a label on that box and it fits perfectly stacked away neatly in the warehouse of our mind. We can comprehend and understand things with this sort of reasoning.
Occasionally we encounter something in life that does not have a box. So we label it with whatever label seems most appropriate; regardless of whether or not it is right or wrong.
And on an even rarer occasion something so new or so foreign comes along we have no way to catalog it correctly. We frantically search for a box that closely resembles this new thing.
Eventually we grow weary and assume that because it, the item in question, has no fit in our warehouse it must be cast off; useless, rubbish, garbage. It has no place so it must be disposed of. We throw it out with the trash because it has no value or meaning to us.
Now when we throw it in the bin, and wash our hands clean of it, just glad to be rid of it, there's something we don't realize. Whatever it was, whatever dysfunction it had, it continues to exist and function as it always has. It goes on just as we do, in the same state it was in when we tossed it out.
So rather than see if there was any value there or if there was anyway we could have helped it or fixed this new thing or even just accept it because it was never truly broken; we go on just as ignorant as we were and have always been.
We continue to have our comfortable little lives in the dark warehouse of our mind content with our own small little world. So the statement above is true.
'Dysfunction. God help us, sometimes those labeled dysfunctional function better than the rest of us."
God help US truly.
"Some things are mislabeled. We like our little boxes, where everything fits nice and neat and has its place. We slap a label on that box and it fits perfectly stacked away neatly in the warehouse of our mind. We can comprehend and understand things with this sort of reasoning.
Occasionally we encounter something in life that does not have a box. So we label it with whatever label seems most appropriate; regardless of whether or not it is right or wrong.
And on an even rarer occasion something so new or so foreign comes along we have no way to catalog it correctly. We frantically search for a box that closely resembles this new thing.
Eventually we grow weary and assume that because it, the item in question, has no fit in our warehouse it must be cast off; useless, rubbish, garbage. It has no place so it must be disposed of. We throw it out with the trash because it has no value or meaning to us.
Now when we throw it in the bin, and wash our hands clean of it, just glad to be rid of it, there's something we don't realize. Whatever it was, whatever dysfunction it had, it continues to exist and function as it always has. It goes on just as we do, in the same state it was in when we tossed it out.
So rather than see if there was any value there or if there was anyway we could have helped it or fixed this new thing or even just accept it because it was never truly broken; we go on just as ignorant as we were and have always been.
We continue to have our comfortable little lives in the dark warehouse of our mind content with our own small little world. So the statement above is true.
'Dysfunction. God help us, sometimes those labeled dysfunctional function better than the rest of us."
God help US truly.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
